Trust issues in the current dating world
In contrast, the anxiously attached, those exposed to a mother or caregiver who is inconsistent—sometimes a source of comfort and sometimes absent—worry that their partner won’t be available or responsive at a time of need.
They don’t trust them to be present and are anxious about relying on them.
We trust that other drivers will stay in their lanes, that conductors and pilots will be sober and alert.Because our mental representations are automatic and not consciously perceived, we can combat their effect on how we interpret events and actions by bringing them into conscious awareness. “What’s Inside the Minds of Securely and Insecurely Attached People?If you have trouble trusting people, it may be helpful for you to focus on what you’re bringing to the party. The Secure-based Script and Its Associations with Attachment Style Dimensions,“ I realized after reading this that, on several occasions and during very stressful times in my life, I spoke aloud the words "I feel I cannot trust very many people...mainly, YOU", to my mother. The reality is, as an adult, I have almost always been able to assess whom I can trust vs. When I made that statement to my mother, I was buffering it.A child who learns the lesson that people close to her are reliable, can be trusted, and will take care of her goes out into the world with very different mental presentations and expectations about human interaction than an insecurely attached peer.
This secure-base script, according to Mario Mikulincer and his colleagues, has three components: All of these assumptions both rely on and bolster the ability to trust.The avoidantly attached individual—someone who has been neglected, rejected or even abused and thus avoids close contact—stays clear of relying on anyone for help because they don’t trust at all, and they do what they can to remain autonomous.